March 11th, a Wednesday

Some things just can't be remembered.  No matter how hard you try.  Other things can't be forgotten.  Despite your best efforts.  In the can't be forgotten category may be the chorus of a hit song.  It plays over and over in your head until it drives you crazy.  You want to hear it again on the radio thinking maybe that will help you get rid of it, but that only plants it deeper into your worn out mind.  It's funny because in the beginning, people love the song and declare it a big hit.  Then when it is a big hit, it's cool to say you don't like it anymore.  Is that because people resent success or don't like it when the media refuses to leave you alone about it?  Or maybe they just get sick of that song.  Plain and simple. 

I know something that is in both categories.  Something that will probably never be forgotten, at least in our popular culture, and something related that will never be remembered.  MASH.  Yup, the old television show.  Hawkeye, Radar, Klinger, Hot Lips, Frank Burns and the gang.  In our house, it is a beloved favorite.  After a long, hard day, we think of the theme song opening of MASH, with the choppers bringing in the wounded to the 4077th, as a lullaby.   It is funny to notice how over the many years that the show was on television, the style of the theme song changed.  It started kind of melodic and haunting, then changed to jazzy, then went to sitcom upbeat, and then back to moody.  But what a melody it is.  And the tagline so easily remembered, Suicide is Painless.  It kind of reflects how funny and irreverent yet very serious the show was.  But I gotta tell ya, that phrase is the only lyric in that whole damned song that can ever be remembered.  That's probably why it was always an instrumental.  The lyrics suck big time.

Now I'm pretty good at learning songs.  Over Christmas, I know every Christmas song and sing one at least every morning and sometimes one in the morning and one at night without ever repeating myself.  And there isn't a Barbra song I don't know.  Really.  And show tunes.  Everything from Oklahoma to Rent.  Know 'em all.  So I thought it would be pretty cool to learn the theme song to MASH so I could sing along from time to time when we watch it at the end of a long day.   I found the words on the internet and got busy learning them.  I was going to surprise the Dutchman.  But it wasn't coming easy and I had to prepare a cheat sheet to hide in the nightstand drawer.  Then when the Dutchman stepped into the bathroom to brush his teeth before we would start MASH, I would take a quick peak because no matter how many hours I put in that day, when go time came, I couldn't remember a single word. 

So I came clean and admitted that I was having trouble remembering the lyrics.  I showed them to him and we went, "huh?".  They didn't even make sense.  No wonder I couldn't remember them, he said.  That made me feel a whole lot better.  But I was determined.  The Dutchman and I tried to learn them together with no luck, all the while wondering how such a beautiful melody and a wonderful show could have ended up with such awful lyrics. 

Well, last night, I made it all the way through for the first time.  I announced my intention to finally accomplish this goal, took a final look at my cheat sheet while the Dutchman was brushing his teeth, (no doubt in great anticipation of my performance), and stood up and let it rip.  I got every word right, all the way through, and jumped up and down for joy.  The Dutchman was really proud of me, too.  Honestly, I doubt I could repeat that feat right now.  After my big moment, those words left my head completely. 

Presenting the lyrics to the theme song of MASH, for your forgettable pleasure.

Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are revealed for me
I realize and I can see

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

See what I mean??????  (I have recently learned that there are actually five verses but after having reviewed them, I didn't have the heart to print them here.  Someday you will thank me.)

By the way, this story is not to be confused with the way you can't remember some things because they are so terrible that your mind won't let you.  Until you are ready, they say.  Well, what if you never are?  Maybe it's best that those things don't become the kind you can't forget.

GR