Monks in the Hills of Santa Monica



August 6th, 2008, a Wednesday

I don't get it.  You hear about these people who always get up to greet the day with a big smile and a warm heart, no matter what.  (This amazing view of life often seems to be noticed for the first time during the composing of the obituary but it is extremely impolite to question the traits described in an obituary because, after all, that person is dead so why argue?)  So does that mean that you can throw the book of life at such a person and they just keep smiling?  Like one of those blow up toys that you can punch and punch and it just keeps popping up for the next punch?  How do they know the absolute joy of a great day when every day is a great day anyway?  What about the generally accepted idea that you have to feel pain or you can never truly appreciate joy? 

Some people say that you can kinda talk yourself into believing that even bad days should be viewed as good days because you are luckier than some other guy.  For example, if you are in a bad mood because your car broke down on the way home from work and it is hot as blazes and there was too much traffic for the tow truck to reach you in a reasonable period of time leaving you on the side of the road for an hour and a half in rush hour traffic on the freeway, one could argue how lucky you are because there was that one person earlier in the week whose car broke down and a big truck slammed into the car and the tow truck and killed them both.  Or if you have a cold or the flu and feel miserable, you should be really glad that you don't have cancer.  Or if the love of your life divorces you for another woman, one could say that it is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all.  I think it's a bunch of hooey.  It's ok to feel miserable if you are.  Isn't it?  It'll pass soon enough.  Feel it all.  We are built that way. 

I wonder if you can choose how you feel anyway.  I guess so because otherwise how would those people mentioned in paragraph one be able to be so sunny every day.  Surely no life is that good all the time.  They have to decide to be cheery as a policy.  Sorta like a dress code or which lane you drive in or stopping for the red light.  There are rules and you just live by them.  Every day you have to smile and be happy.  Period.

Speaking of life choices, Nicky is faced with one right now.  You may remember that Nicky is my boyfriend.  Grey, slightly frumpy, very quiet.  He used to be a Dominican monk before he left the monkery to find happiness in the ordinary world and ended up with me.  It's not a flashy romance at all.  Just solid.  He is a very powerful guy with a real talent for meditation and introspection.  Remember he now wears my green peace shirt, the one I had been wearing for months, one of the few things he has ever asked of me.  He spends hours each day praying for the safe return of the troops and I had to accept he would do it much better than me.  I have learned a lot from him about how not to be a little twit who cares about things that are not that important.  He doesn't try to convince me, but he is always there with his wise and knowing spirit in stark contrast to my more materialistic, silly pop culture ways. 

So anyway the monkery calls yesterday.  They have invited him back to live there, to resume his religious calling in the hills of Santa Monica.  It is quiet there.  You wouldn't believe how quiet.  And to think of the incessant chattering I subject him to every day.  It must drive him crazy.  Do you think that is why he is considering it?  Is it right for a guy like Nicky to be out of his element, in the brazen world the rest of us live in?  Or should he hang out with others like him, in complete isolation.  What would I do without him?  He is a huge influence on me and that influences my blog.  I am willing to bet that my readers are a lot like me and need quiet, soulful guidance on a daily basis.  What good does it really do for the powerful monks to stay holed up in the monkery with each other, all agreeing that silence and prayer and mindful dishwashing is where it's at?  I hate to think how my blog might deteriorate if I am left to my own devices without the influence of Nicky.  But he has to make his own decision.  And it will affect us all, dear readers. 

Maybe if we all tried to be a little more mindful, a little less bitchy, a lot less greedy, a lot more kind.  Then Nicky would see that someone is paying attention.  Maybe if we told him that while he may not feel one hundred percent comfortable in our hedonistic environment, it beats living with some spoiled child who doesn't even understand him or know that he is such a powerful monk thereby eliminating his free will to leave.  He should count his blessings for that every day.  (See paragraph two.)  Nah, I would never tell him that.  He has to choose for himself or it doesn't really count if he stays.

Don't go, Nicky.  We need you.

GR