June 27th, 2008, a Friday


In this day and age, do you really think there is a woman out there who hasn't thought about being with another woman?  Every now and then I declare myself to be a lesbian which doesn't mean much because I don't and never have had a girlfriend (and I am in a relationship with Dominic, the former monk as you know) but it just feels kinda cool to say it, you know.  "I'm thinking I may become a lesbian", I say to the Dutchman.  He just smiles, knowing this too shall pass.  But it keeps cropping up from time to time.  Just like it did last night after watching a nifty little movie. 

It was about trendy New York thirty-somethings, post Woody Allen, who were confused about their love lives.  Our heroine loses her girlfriend, not because of lesbian issues, but because of commitment phobia.  She's miserable about it but can't bring herself to tell her ex that she loves her, even though she desperately does.  She begins dating a man, of all things, which she cannot believe herself.  But then she meets a pretty blonde who is distraught because her boyfriend of six years broke up with her, and they get together, a first for the pretty blonde who had never been with a woman (see how easily women go over to the other side).  Our heroine discovers that her new man and her new woman are the former couple who have broken up.  That, of course, is discovered by all and the couple get back together, realizing they are straight, having refreshed their relationship by each cavorting with our heroine, the lesbian.  She runs into her ex who is about to marry a man who, at least, will grow old with her and love her, she says.  They work it out in the bathroom during the engagement party while the fiance macho man is trying to beat the door down with a hammer.  The women just seem to get along better with each other than they do with the men, talking about stuff and truly enjoying each other's company.  But when I really look at it, there does seem to be something missing.  I'm so confused. 

Modern dating presents an argument on both sides for the "men are dogs" theory and I give them to you now.

A nice guy I know of met a girl he liked and asked her on a date.  They got together for a drink and things were going well.  He excused himself to go to the bathroom and while there, his phone vibrated, signaling an incoming text message.  It was, to his surprise, from his date seated just outside the door.  It said "this guy is good looking and charming, too".  He immediately realized it was not meant for him and she was actually texting a friend (a girlfriend, no doubt).  He had no idea what he should do about it and called a friend for advice.  He took the advice and chose not to say anything to his date, not wanting to embarrass her.  He even seemed sorry that her private thoughts had become known to him despite their flattering nature.  I told you he was a nice guy!

But then there is this other story about a stripper (well, girls have to make a living, you know) who (foolishly) accepted a date with a guy she met at the club while she was working.  They were having dinner and he was texting on his phone over and over while they were talking.  Finally she had enough of that and demanded that he stop the texting.  He said ok but she made him hand over the phone, and believe it or not, he actually did.  She then went to the bathroom (where apparently all text disasters occur) and heard his phone buzzing in her purse.  She saw that it was a text message, obviously in response to all the texts he had been sending.  She was shocked to read it and began to look at the others before it.  These texts were vulgar suggestions to guy friends that the girl was hot to trot (my words because his were a lot worse) and they should all get together with her if you know what I mean.  "At the same time" kind of thing because she was "ready".  This made her plenty mad and she confronted him at the table and slid the phone towards him right into the bucket of ice.  Need I say more?  I would go into the whole thing about what kind of guy does something like that right in front of his date but is that really necessary?  Let's just go with the men are dogs thing instead.

I'm not willing to give up on men just yet because I am a believer and there is always hope.  Maybe not for the gender as a whole, but certainly for a good number of them.  You just have to find them.  And hope they aren't just wolves in sheep's clothing.  Or dogs in slacks and a shirt. 

GR