June 6th, 2008,  a Friday

I am officially coming out of the closet, but only for today.  I am a very political bear.  Maybe I am just drawn to groundbreaking movements because of my own situation.  But watching an African American man and a woman plow through such a long and fascinating campaign season has been thrilling, one of those things you are glad you got to witness in your lifetime.  The extent of my politicalness in the past has been trying to figure out how the American public could elect George Bush not once, but twice.  It has made me feel numb and dumbfounded, not my two favorite feelings.  So watching Barack and Hillary step into the ring was very encouraging.  One of the two of them is a believer, my highest standard of analysis.  When Barack started talking about the audacity of hope and changing the world, I fell for it hard.  Hook, line and sinker.  And when his speeches start swelling with these words and he gains momentum over the roar of the huge crowds he attracts with this message, I just want to turn everything over to him.  I know I would sleep better with him in charge.  I trust this guy.  I feel better already.

In the beginning, I was pretty excited about one of the two top candidates being a woman.  We didn't know much about Barack at that time and Hillary was familiar and qualified.  I figured her Presidential ambitions were a big part of why she stayed with Bill after the infamous Monica mess, calculating which choice would make her likely to be more successful in her own career.  I'm not sure how staying with a guy like Bill, who humiliated both his wife and daughter on the world stage, fits in with the feminist message but no one is really talking about that.  In fact, when Chelsea was asked about it on one of her campaign stops, she let everyone know that subject was off limits.  But isn't that a pretty big woman's issue?  If her husband treated her with so little respect, and she tolerated it, how can she expect anyone else to?  I drifted to Barack eventually, not because he was a man of color, but because he was a man of hope.  I drifted away from Hillary, not because she was a woman, but because she routinely pissed me off.  I came to dislike her, mistrust her, and be angered by her.  And I wasn't the only one.  The fact that she is a woman actually made it worse.  I was embarrassed and disappointed. 

Hillary has made claims of sexism on the campaign.  I keep hearing the word "misogyny" (which, by the way, is a bitch to spell) and at first, didn't know what it meant so I looked it up.  It means hatred or contempt of women.  As far as I know, it is not a new word so it wasn't invented to describe Hillary's campaign.  She complained about a sign in a crowd that said "iron my shirts".  All the discrimination and domestic violence and abuse and second class treatment that women endure around the world every day and she's complaining about a reference to shirt ironing?  And she can't very well complain about her opponent having an advantage due to his gender because he's black, for heaven's sake.  I don't hear him complaining about the hateful emails he and his family get or people calling his wife ugly or threatening to shoot him because of his color.  No, he just keeps talking about hope.  And gives a breathtaking speech on the state of race in America, addressing it head on.  As much coverage as I have watched, day after day, hour after hour, I don't recall Hillary speaking for women's rights one time.  I am willing to bet that she and her political advisors decided that wouldn't be advantageous to her campaign image.  Yet she willingly accepted the votes of millions of women who admit they voted for her just because she is a woman.  Who say if she didn't get the nomination they would "actively campaign against her opponent".  She has also willingly accepted the votes of many Democrats who admit in exit polling that they simply wouldn't vote for an African American.  I also didn't like it when she said that the way she has been treated was "deeply offensive to millions of women" but there was "nothing she could do about it".  That just makes women feel mad and militant and powerless and creates a sub-war that distracts from the important issues of our time and the task of beating the Republicans.  As Barack would say, its divisive and not helpful.

Did you know that misandry means hatred of men? (Yes, they have their own hate word, too.)  And misanthropy means hatred of humanity? (Seems everyone has a hate word.)  And Greek philosophers believed that misogyny was caused by gynophobia, a fear of women?  I think Hillary has certainly furthered the cause of gynophobia.  (And I'll bet most women thought that word meant fear of their gynecologist.)  But there is also the word philogyny which means love towards women.  I think that is why Hardball's Chris Matthews pinched Hillary's cheek because his love of women seems well documented in a recent New York Times article.  But she thought it was sexist. 

I happen to think that true feminism begins and ends with a genderless approach to our lives no matter how idealistic it sounds.  I know of some women who refuse to accept the bidding advantage given to women owned businesses because it is not fair to men.  I can't figure out why women think its ok to accept a clear advantage in business just because they are women and then complain when they are treated differently because they are women?  Until we get over that whole thing, we are going to define ourselves as victims of sexism.  I'm not saying it doesn't exist, that would be silly.  I'm just saying maybe if we pay less attention to it, maybe everyone else will.  But let's be clear about one thing.  Hillary didn't lose the nomination because she was a woman.  Being a woman does not qualify her for the job.  Being a believer does. 

GR