May 29th, 2008, a Thursday

I had a dream about Rob Lowe last night.  And a pretty transvestite name Adrienne Simmons.  I swear!  Do you think I could make up something like that?  It took place in a seaside hotel, Rob was romantically interested in me (hey, I am not always a teddy bear in my dreams so this is not kinky), and we ran into Adrienne in the lobby just after Rob suggested while walking the grounds that we go on up to his room.  It was clear this was just going to be a roll in the hay.  No relationship intended.  I was considering it when I woke up.  He is pretty cute but has that fatal West Wing problem.  After his role in that amazing show, everything else he does and will ever do looks silly (playing a Presidential candidate in the sudsy Brothers and Sisters???!!!).  To be honest, in the dream I knew that if I didn't go to his room, he was probably going to take Adrienne up instead.  That sucks.  Forget what I said about this not being kinky.

We all know how comforting and secure rituals and routines can be.  I have a ton of them myself and love almost every one of them.  But sometimes they aren't that good for you, depending on their origin, especially if they prevent you from trying things another way which could be how you might start a new and equally beloved ritual or routine.  I get so tired of thinking of things in exactly the same way, from the same point of view I've had forever.  And tired of thinking about the same things all the time.  The usual things I have almost always thought about.  Wouldn't you just love to think about something brand new?  Or see things in a completely different light? 

With this hounding me the past few days, I forced myself to watch Fox News.  I could only do it for a few minutes probably just because I was so unnerved to be watching Fox News at all.  It wasn't like anyone was watching me.  If I didn't tell you about it, no one would even know.  Actually, it wasn't that bad.  It seemed to be a slow news day and Bill O'Reilly (oh, didn't I mention his show was on when I switched over....yeah, I know) didn't say one outrageous thing.  In fact, he surprised me by being pretty positive and not overly opinionated for those few minutes.  I quickly switched back to Countdown with Keith Olbermann, my comfort zone.  Why is it so comfortable?  Because Keith always slants his program towards my own political beliefs.  And that makes me feel validated.  Lately he has been carrying on a bit too much, acting a lot like some of the targets of his most bitter criticism.  I thought maybe I should hear more than my own point of view, know more about the other side.  On a good news day it could be pretty entertaining if nothing else. 

Sometimes we are forced to change our way of thinking or how we see the world when things happen to us, not of our own choosing.  If you or someone close to you gets sick, or you lose your job and have to find a new one, or a tornado levels your house forcing you to rebuild from scratch.  That is when common wisdom says that you "find out who you are".  There is a reason that certain wisdom is considered common.  Because there is a lot of truth in it.  

But I am more interested in finding a way to view the world differently or think about new things just because it might be a good idea.  It is much harder to choose change when you don't have to, to choose it because you choose to.  I'm not promising that I will watch Fox News on a regular basis, but I might.  But I will promise to do one thing today that is different than I usually do.  No, I'm not going to tell you what it is.  You figure out yours and I will figure out mine.  

GR