May 21st, 2008  a Wednesday

I have a friend who says that Wednesday is hump day.  Get through Wednesday and you are over the hump and headed for the weekend.  Can you imagine how many people are having a Wednesday right now and what millions and billions of things they may be doing?  Or thinking about?

Me, I'm having a moral dilemma.  I told you a while ago that I have been wearing this Army green t-shirt that says peace on it for a long, long time.  I vowed not to take it off until all the troops were home from Iraq and back with their families.  And I still wear it every single day even though green doesn't really look that good on me and I had no idea the war would drag on so long.  But then I started writing my blog and that means a lot to me.  I like to post a picture to compliment my theme for the day.  The other day I had to wear my bathing suit and goggles in my photograph and I tried to get that darned suit over the t-shirt but Olympic suits are designed to be close fitting for obvious reasons and it just wouldn't fit over the peace shirt.  So I took off the shirt just long enough for the photo.  It was hard to do that because it was the first time and I almost cried.  I was afraid I had ruined everything.  I had to weigh that against the good I may do with my blog and wanting to do it to the best of my ability.  Some say I'm way too sensitive, that my personal peace effort is still in tact.  But I'm feeling kinda like I let the troops down. 

So I have signified about this for a long time and here is what I think.  What is in our hearts really matters, even if it is never spoken.  It is enough to feel it.  I am showing every day, by wearing the shirt, that I care about the people who are away from home fighting in the Iraq war.  It isn't a chain that can be broken by taking off the shirt for the photo.  It is a way of supporting and believing and noticing and witnessing.  I don't think that making the peace statement should prevent me from doing my work and I don't think the troops would ask that of me.  They would appreciate that I was keeping them in my hearts and would probably tell me to give myself fully to my blog work as well.  At least I hope so.

When we try to figure out why we are here, I think we can be overly influenced by the media and its idea of success and celebrityness.  Like if you are not a pop star, a professional athlete, on tv, or in the movies you aren't anyone.  But why do you think the good ones always say that they owe everything to their fans.  Because they know that it isn't really about them, it is about those of us who care enough to allow them to be who they are.  We are still going to be ourselves if there are no hit records all year or if the sports teams all go broke or if not one movie is made.  Without you, they are not them.  Without them, we are still us.  See what I mean?  (Besides one year without songs, movies or games to watch and you probably won't be complaining about how much money they make.) 

As for me, if (when) I become a celebrity bear because of my blog and then Gina Rose becomes a brand and I make millions of dollars and have zillions of fans, I will still be the charming, sweet, darling teddy bear that I am right now.  Of course, I'm kidding.  I don't need all that to be myself.  Nor do you.  (But I'll bet there's not a one of us that wouldn't take it if offered!  You know, just to see what it's like.)  

As to this Wednesday, it's ok to download those songs you heard on the American Idol finale last night (only if you must), or sneak off to the movies and enjoy the heck out of it, or hope the Dbacks can play a little better than last night.  And for the record, the 24 year old Boston pitcher who threw a no hitter this week is a cancer survivor.  How cool is that?  So get on with hump day, and we can worry about all this tomorrow.  Before the weekend.

GR