May 19th, 2008,  a Monday

Except that it is really Sunday as I am writing this.  I never do that, write my blog on any other day than the day it is posted.  But I am really upset.  And this can't wait.  If you are a regular reader, you know that I have a cancer background.  Me and Mreesha did a bone marrow transplant together in a sterile room where we got well, each from many different things.  Then we did radiation, and that was after she did surgery and chemotherapy before I arrived.  We hate cancer and talk about it every time we get a chance (without being obsessed if you know what I mean).  But this morning, we are letting it fly. 

We taped a program called The Truth About Cancer and watched the first half hour or so today (that is all we could take in one sitting).  It was made by a woman whose husband died of cancer.  She bought a video camera when he was diagnosed to tape their experience but I am pretty sure at the time they started doing that, they had no idea that he would die from his cancer.  Then they got in over their heads but kept taping.  It took her six years after his death to watch the tapes and then she decided to make this documentary including talking to the big Massachusetts hospitals and cancer centers about where the fight against cancer is today.  So she followed some patients and their families.  And she followed some oncologists to get their perspective.

One doctor, a youngish man with an Irish name, appeared along the way.  He started by saying that telling people you are an oncologist at a cocktail party could be a real conversation stopper.  They always wanted to know how he could do that.  His answer was, how could you not?  It was like being in a movie, he said.  OK, that made me kinda suspicious right there, but I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.  Then there was a doctor meeting where one smart doctor said that they should not be judged on whether they chose the right chemo or other treatment, but how they helped guide the patient and their loved ones through the end of life (I like this guy better assuming he is a good guide).  After watching the Irish fellow clumsily tell a young woman that a new scan showed that her pancreatic cancer was not responding to treatment and was actually spreading into other organs (he is not a good guide), he spoke privately to the interviewer later.  It was this part that got me worked up.

He said that Americans like to control their own destiny which may work fine in sports or business  (I'm not sure how you control sports so maybe he knows something I don't know) but they cannot control the spread of cancer cells.  It's all "biology", he said.  As if that wasn't bad enough, he went on to say that people like to use Lance Armstrong as an example.  But Lance happened to have a cancer, testicular cancer, that was particularly sensitive to chemotherapy drugs.  So when treated, his cancer "melted away, like butter".  It had nothing to do with his being a world class athlete or a fighter or anything else.  (Let's just say that this guy should hope that me and Mreesha don't get invited to the same cocktail party as him anytime soon.  I doubt he has ever been chewed out by a bear.)

I'm sure you can see where I am going with this, but please indulge me.  Sure cancer is biology.  But if that is all it is, then is he saying that prayer has no impact (even though studies have shown that patients who are being prayed for have better outcomes)?  He obviously hasn't read Dr. Bernie Siegel who as a cancer physician learned that certain patients do remarkably well for no apparent medical reason.  Read his amazing book "Love, Medicine, and Miracles" to find out what makes an exceptional cancer patient in his opinion, and it's a lot more than biology.  People who thought they were going to die from their cancer went home and changed their lives, choosing a path they never had the courage to choose before their illness (a violinist rather than an accountant), and got so busy living they forgot to die.  And then there is the wonderful book, Remarkable Recovery, that profiles what kind of people recover unexpectedly.  It has to do with firemen and teddy bears and such.  Maybe the Irish guy is all about the cure (or lack thereof), but if he really wants to become a good guide to his patients, he should remember the healing part.  He doesn't seem to have anything to do with that part right now but his patients may have a whole lot to do with their own healing, if they so choose.  And by the way, they can heal their lives even if the cancer takes their life. 

I'm a believer.  And he, the doctor in question, is not.  It's bad enough that he thinks disease is all about biology.  But to reduce the amazing recovery of Lance Armstrong, by anyone's standards, to a good fit with chemotherapy drugs is just poor judgment.  Lance Armstrong is now competing in the biggest race of his life.  To help the world win its war against cancer.  This is far more important than any Tour de France.  His cancer and his response to his own experience is more than biology.  How else would he have ever found himself in front of a Congressional panel last week, arguing for funding and political attention to cancer.  He is our champion for which his multiple cycling championships were just a warm-up. 

So, listen everyone.  We need our doctors to present the possible cure for what ails us.  But we need ourselves a lot more.  Our beliefs, our hope, our faith, our clarity, our determination, our love and our compassion (and the love and compassion of those we love).  Therein lies the healing.  And don't forget that you don't need to get cancer to heal your life. 

GR