I am kind of mad at Hillary.  Don't get me wrong.  There are certain things about her that I really admire and think we can all learn from.  She really lights up in front of a crowd.  Her face is bright and engaged, she acknowledges individuals in the crowd making them feel really important, never complains, and stays positive in the face of overwhelming odds against her.  I like it when she talks to kids.  Even though she is really busy and always on her way to somewhere else, she stops and gives a kid her full attention and acts like they are really important to her.  I think she must be a good Mom and it shows.  Sometimes she acts like she may even be a believer.  But then there is that other stuff.  Let's just say that people have said in large numbers that they don't trust her and don't believe her and there are really good reasons for that (but you don't need a bear to explain politics to you).  Just trust me when I tell you that she has a dark side.  If you look carefully, you can see when it is flaring up and it's not a pretty sight.  She must really, really want and need to be the President.  Well, Hillary, we all want and need a lot of things but can't have all of them.  And I don't think we should be willing to do absolutely anything to get those things.  What if we all did that?  Can you imagine what would happen?

Sure its hard to face up to the possibility that something you have wanted your whole life, worked as hard as you can for, dreamed about ever since you can remember, may not actually happen.  Take Olympic athletes, for example.  They sacrifice and train for years and years and when it comes time for trials, some miss making the team by just a fraction of a second.  And their hopes and dreams are over.  So the athletes who do make it go on to the games and maybe they win a medal or maybe not.  But all of this is just one little part of a bigger life.  A body of work, so to speak, that defines a lifetime. 

Cancer, which I know something about, has a way of testing those who get to know it by having it.  Suddenly you are thrown into a world you know nothing about, forced to face possible and sometimes probable death, losing the most basic enjoyment of a regular life (which you actually forgot to notice when you had it).  You have to put one foot in front of another and figure out who you are, under enormous pressure and stress.  That is a regular person's version of getting hurt right before the Olympic trials.  You may never be an elite athlete again but you can still be something else.  What will it be?  It is really the same for all of us, just different versions of the same story. 

Take me, for example.  I know I can never compete in the Olympics for obvious reasons.  But I really believe that I can get just as much pleasure out of practicing my diving as a real Olympic diver.  I just need someone to help me do my flips and twists.  But so do the athletes.  They need coaches and funding and trainers.  Mostly we all need imagination.  I can imagine what it would be like to dive all by myself, take those three steps on the springboard and let it propel you up into the air followed by all the twisting and somersaults and finally the perfect vertical entry into the water with no splash.  In my mind, I have done it a million times.  And the athlete imagines nailing that last dive for the gold, throwing up his arms, hugging his coach, and hearing his country's national anthem on the podium.  Either way, it's what we do.  We dream and strive and hope and pray. 

I know that Hillary has been planning what pant suit she will wear to her inauguration for about 35 years.  And I am sure that after her husband humiliated her and her daughter in front of the whole world when he was President, she wanted more than anything to become the President herself so she could take back the power he took from her.  And he wanted to give her that so he could feel better about what he did.  So how is it, she must be asking herself, that this young unknown guy named Barack Obama (of all things) came out of nowhere and took this away from her.  How is that really different from the kid who swims the race of his life at the Olympic trials beating out the reigning world champion to make the team?  Or the woman who finds out that cancer will end up having its way with her life instead of quietly becoming a grandmother like she always dreamed?  No, Hillary, the loss of your dream is no worse than any of ours.  The question is, are you going to be a role model in grace and humility and understanding while you have this moment on the world stage?  Are you going to inspire us like you say you want to?  Only not in the way you envisioned exactly?  Will we be able to look at you and say that in the face of bitter disappointment, you absolutely got it right.  We are watching.

A preacher said just last Sunday that we should embrace change, walk through new doors, don't stay with the familiar comfort zone, and be hopeful because we were created to soar.  And Hillary, he said something else.  Our greatest victories are still in the future.  You are a very bright woman, gifted, highly motivated, rich, successful, and privileged.  Now is the moment to do a little transforming of your own.  It might get you where you were trying to go, just by using a different route.  Be a believer.  I dare you.

GR